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World Wrestling Entertainment :: Date: February 9th, 2020

Good evening, retards and tardettes! It's time to celebrate your hero: Eugene!


Eugene was a man with down syndrome who was related to Eric Bischoff, and thus got to have a career in WWE. Eric Bischoff having retard DNA in his bloodline makes sense, considering that he basically flossed his ass crack with Ted Turner's checkbook.

William Regal had to track down Eugene, being told that he was going to get to manage him. Regal thought he was getting a big, sweaty hunk of man meat with a cock the size of Idaho. But instead he got a paste-eating fucktard with a cock the size of Nebraska, which you can verify with his schoolmates because I'm sure he pulled that shit out in school and tugged on it on a regular basis.

Eugene would do super cool stuff like lick Jerry "Playground Fapper" Lawler's face and dig his fingers into his own asshole for snacks.

After a while, William Regal became fond of Eugene. But Triple H, being a douchebag, wasn't. He exploited Eugene and beat the piss out of him, humiliating him. This led to Eugene getting a shot at Triple H, which he lost, because of course he did.

After getting addicted to eating crayons and getting suspended for a while, Eugene would come back as a glorified jobber... until he turned Heel by waving his "I'm special" card. Which is hilarious, because I didn't need a reason to be mean to someone handicapped.

So Heeltard started feuding with Hacksaw Jim Duggan, the original wrestling retard. Then he got fired because he sucks.

Here. Watch The Sandman beat the fuck out of him.

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A dark humor webzine brutally mocking professional wrestling.