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Zack Ryder, The Club, The Revival & More Coming to AEW

All Elite Wrestling :: Date: May 10th, 2020

It's pretty much all but confirmed that several released WWE wrestlers are on their way to AEW. Fuckin' unreal, right? What is this!? TNA 2.0!?

Don't they know that when a wrestler gets released from WWE, that means it's time for him to become homeless?

Yeah. I'm sick of these wrestlers finding places to work and opportunities to reinvent themselves. It's horse shit. Once you sign that WWE contract, your cock and balls belong to Vince McMahon and you are his slave. For life. Why do you think we haven't seen Carlito in TNA? Because he knows his place.

So what are we gonna get? Zack Ryder? No. Fuck that. We're getting Matt Cardona... sounds a little too much like Corona to me. You want people to get the fuckin' virus? Is that what you're all about, AEW? You make me fucking sick.

Oh, but don't worry folks. We're also getting The Revival. Yeah. They're gonna revive us from the corona they just gave us... psyche! Now they're The Revolt! Why? Because they want us to become revolted and throw up all over ourselves. Fucking disgusting. Fuck you, Tony Khan.

We also might be getting The Club... like I'm supposed to be able to put down a sandwich after all this horse shit you've been slinging in my face.

AEW is the WORST wrestling EVER. I am SLITTING my WRISTS.

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A dark humor webzine brutally mocking professional wrestling.