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I Stole Joey Janela's Ring Gear

All Elite Wrestling :: News :: Date: September 19, 2019


Joey Janela's car was parked outside in Philedelphia earlier today, which is ironically where I was snorting cocaine off a Bad Dragon dildo and listening to Natural Born Killaz on loop. When I saw Mr. Jello walking into a gay bar with a bottle of poppers and an electronic fleshlight, I knew it was my chance to strike.

I thought it would be a good opportunity to start my own wrestling career, so I threw an uncooked chicken that I purchased from the local grocery store through his window and grabbed the Otomix bag that was sitting in the front seat. But, to my dismay, the waistband is really stretched out and there's a fat skid mark in the center of the ass on the inside.

That's right. Joey Janela turded in these tights.

Joey, if you're reading this: you can have your gear back. They're in the dumpster behind Planned Parenthood.

You might have to sift through a few babies to get to it. Sorry.

Speaking of, remember when would auction off worn diva panties?

Because I do.

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A dark humor webzine brutally mocking professional wrestling.