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AEW Full Gear

All Elite Wrestling :: Date: November 10th, 2019

I tuned into the pre-show with about 8 minutes left, enough to see Awesome Kong coming out with Taz on commentary. Hey man. Fuck it.

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I'm tired of being told that the Young Bucks are the greatest tag-team going right now. If they're so great, you shouldn't have to tell us. Nobody said that shit about the Dudley Boyz when they legitimately were.

LAX2--- err, PNP... P&P? Not sure yet. But they beat the Young Bucks, then got Canadian Destroyer'd by the Rock 'n' Roll Express because it's 1986. Personally, I just think they're trying to stop Jim Cornette's tirades.

I'm still taken by the fat asian girl who wears a mustache in honor of Freddie Mercury. I can't mentally process it. Even JR said "whaddup with the mustache."

During the main event of Cody Rhodes vs. Chris Jericho, Cody wound up flying face first into the steel ramp and cutting his forehead open. It's fucking brutal. He's on that patended Rhodes face-period.

After getting the everloving fuck kicked out of him, MJF throws in the towel and saves Cody... but by doing so, costs him the AEW Championship and assures that Cody will never get another shot at the title. Ever! EVER!

(He almost guaranteed will.)

But as MJF was crying and begging for forgiveness, he kicks Cody in the cubes as hard as he can and then laughs. I saw it coming a mile away, but they did it just weird enough that they made me doubt it.

After this heel-to-even-more-heel turn, a fan actually chucked a soda at him at full speed and nailed him. It was beautiful. That dude should play baseball.

And I forgot... we're getting a Lights Out! Unsanctioned! match between Jon Moxley and Kenny Omega. God damn. See, my brain has this thing where I can't acknowledge unsanctioned matches.

It was BRUTAL. They were fucking each other up with REAL barbed wire. I don't think I've seen real barbed wire get used since ECW. But Renee Young is sadder than six shits on a fuck because she tweeted how sad it was making her.

Some fans are chiming in too, saying this is "too violent." Like... shut the fuck up. Seriously. This is Jon Moxley's game. I don't know why Kenny Omega is trying to be Mr. Hardcore all of a sudden but fuck it too. Let these guys kill each other. It's fun to watch.

To AEW management: more gore and violence. I love watching people nearly die for my entertainment.

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A dark humor webzine brutally mocking professional wrestling.