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AEW Dynamite (12/11/2019)

All Elite Wrestling :: Date: December 11th, 2019

We are LIVE and Jon Moxley is walking through the crowd as people are going ape shit. It's so cool watching him walk through the crowd.

Chris Jericho comes out and gives the whole speech about how when Mox was Ambrose, him and Jericho had a huge feud in WWE... then Mox came to AEW, fucked Jericho up, thumbtacks, leather jackets, tanktops, daddy issues, repressed memories. Good times.

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Jericho wants Moxley to join the Inner Circle, so he gives him a t-shirt and says "think about it HERO!" before riding away on his glider.

After Code Erodes got futtbucked by Butcher & Blade, Darby Allin storms down and helps Cody up... and then leaves.

I mean, whatever.

Awww shit! Wardlow and MJF are here! And they harass and assault a suspiciously in-shape camera grip before cutting a generic promo on how Cody Rhodes is a butthead who needs to go over there and shut up.

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MJF is like a generic high school bully without any of the good writing. He makes fun of Cody's lisp despite having a cancerous mole on the back of his neck that's bigger than one of Dusty Rhodes' polka dots.

Big Swole is fucking annoying. I know you wouldn't imagine a woman named Big Swole would be irritating but I kind of want to see Freddie Mercury shove that microphone stand up her ass.

MJF had a Diamond Ring. We're in Dallas, TX. Hangman Page is in the ring. We're doing the DDP shirt angle with Moxley and Jericho. References were made to some band that did a cover of Self High Five back in the day. It's a DDP kinda night. I'm gonna go Diamond Cut my wrists.

But fuck that! Lights out! And Joey Janela has Tully Blanchard tied up at the top of the stage! His morning oatmeal has been interrupted! Fuck!

God damn it. Imagine that. You're having your morning oatmeal bowl and some smelly hippy shows up and makes you engage in gay BDSM.

Gay BDSM is only okay when Kip Sabian does it.

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A dark humor webzine brutally mocking professional wrestling.