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AEW Dynamite (11/14/2019)

All Elite Wrestling :: Date: November 14th, 2019

This is the first AEW Dynamite after Full Gear. I'm excited. Aren't you?

No? Well fuck you. I don't give a shit what you want.

Kenny Omega wasn't cleared to compete. We watch his doctor's analysis where his back is coated in scars, his eye is blacker than a movie theater in Harlem... but Jon Moxley's doin' great. And he's here to fight Michael Nakazawa: King of the Baby Oil.

The match lasts about as long as Moxley does when he's banging his wife.

The (Evil) Super Smash Bros. kick the shit out of Marko Stunt and topple their nonsense. The fat one tries to recruit Marko to their faction, but Jungle Boy intercepts and says "Nah dude." They kick the fuck out of them Old Style, but Luchasaurus returns to save them! Hooray!

Jon Moxley earlier had put in an open challenge to anyone who had the testicle balls to go up against him in a deathmatch, which was accepted by Darby Allin. Then Jericho and MJF jerk each other off in a war of words for like 10 minutes before uniting as part of the Inner Circle... then Cody comes out, THEN Wardlow debuts--- and... fuck. Wardlow? What the fuck is that?

The Mexicans kick the fuck out of the Young Bucks for what feels like six hours... and it rules. I love violence.

They're getting powerbombed through the stage. Stomped on the skull. This is awesome. It's not often you get to see two Mexicans jumping two white guys for no reason.

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A dark humor webzine brutally mocking professional wrestling.